angel in heaven

My husband and I tried for 3 years with fertility to concieve a baby. We were bless with the news it was two. I had a dream that GOD was sending me a boy and a girl. To my surprise on my 14th week ultrasound, it was confirmed that it was indeed a boy and a girl. I picked out Emma's name and my husband chose Talon. We were so happy to be having our pair. At 22 weeks I was put on total bedrest, because I was threatening to go into preterm labor. I went in two other times until the day the twins were born. The contractions started at around 5 am. They were coming very frequently and hurting really bad. Very unusal, it wasn't anything I had felt before. I went into the hospital and was 2 1/2 centimeters. The plan was to stop the contractions with Magnisium Sulphate through an IV. But Emma's placenta abrupted and we went into an emergency c-section. The babies were born 30 minutes later. Sunday October 16, 2005 at 1:28pm Talon was born weighing 3 lbs 1 oz, and at 1:29 pm Emma Grace was born weighing 2 lbs 5 ozs. Both had a team of doctors, nurses, and respiratory therapist at their bed sides waiting for my little babies to arrive. I remember laughing because both babies were screaming so loud, when they came out. They did not want anything to do with being out of my belly. Talon was born with down syndrome, and was having a hard time breathing on his own from the very begining. After contacting pseudomonas sepsis, his already weaken body could not fight off the infection and he went to meet GOD in heaven. It's taken me 2 years to finally post this page. It has been very hard for me. I think sometimes that he saved Emma's life, because if it wasn't for him insisting on coming out, I wouldn't of been at the hospital. From the start he did what normal big brothers are there to do, protect their little sister. We had a normal open casket funeral for Talon. Family and friends were welcome to attend. When you are going through this situation, normal thinking is not normal, and you do things lots of people question. And we really honestly did everything we wanted to do and it made sense at the time. I think it still does, but one thing I would of done differently and it sounds creppy, but I would of took pictures of him after he was imbombed. I was horrified at the thought when I was at the funeral home and freaked out when someone asked, so no one did. But our family seen him at the hospital and seeing him in his casket was actually refreshing. He looked so horrible at the hospital, because the infection posioned his whole system and his pinkish skin was blue/grey. He looked like a porcelin doll in the coffin. My thinking behind the normal funeral was that Talon had a purpose. We waited to get pregnate for 3 years, and another 7 mths to get those babies. I didn't want him to be easily forgotten, and I didn't want people to know of him as Kelly and Ryan's baby that passed. He was more than that. He was such a happy baby. Every ultrasound picture we have of Talon, he was sucking his thumbing and kicked all the time. He was very active and 11 ozs bigger than his sister. He was the baby in utero that I had to laugh at all of the time, because he was doing gymnastics in me. Emma is still like she was in utero. Don't mess with her, especially when she's sleeping and she cuddles really good. And she doesn't miss naps, and sometimes there is two. She is a spitting image of me, and Talon was a spitting image of Ryan. He had what I called the calico hair. If I look at Ryan's hair right now you will see white, because he's getting old (Ha Ha), blonde, brown, black, and red, and Talon had all of his coloring. If you ever seen Ryan's toes, Talon's were the same up down pattern, and the second one was longer than the first. Emma has the ballerina foot I call it. So girly, and just like mine. Even down to the indention in his chin, he was truly Ryan's son.